INTERVIEW | Esther Yoo | "You have to keep trying to develop yourself and ask, what can I do better?"

In conversation with Esther Yoo
Interviewed on 10 July 2020.

Esther Yoo, © Marco Borggreve

“Silence is a double-edged sword”, writes Esther Yoo, in a recent article on the mental health of musicians coping with the COVID-19 lockdown. “All the freed-up mental space I had acquired [that enabled me to finally take time for myself: to rest, reflect and also re-evaluate what is most important in life] was beginning to be invaded by concerns, doubts and fears”, she says – a sobering account, which, unfortunately, may resonate with many who have been under lockdown circumstances from earlier this year.

Perhaps conflict is in the nature of self-reflection. In contemplating the self, the various interactions and inconsistencies between what is intended, what is socially or personally desired, or what is externally portrayed can understandably provoke frustration, even anxiety. After all, the subject of inquiry is simultaneously its object - a leap of faith is required. One way or another, self-reflection is not easy. 

At the same time, the embrace of the inherent complexity of self-exploration can bear important fruits. As Esther Yoo concludes in her article, "...we must learn to navigate our inner realm... and as artists, translate these complex sentiments into our art." It was, therefore, unsurprising that when I conversed with Esther Yoo last month, the conversation revealed an artist with a passion for life, open to life's discoveries. Soon into the conversation, we found ourselves talking about her fascinations across various art forms and her experiences with cultures and languages, also discussing life's wisdom on the way. If the conversation captured but a partial side to the layered colours of Esther Yoo, I wonder if some things are best left unturned. In the face of the future's generally indeterminate vastness and Esther Yoo's ever-evolving artistry - transposing her view of her relationship with music - life is "is more like a journey than a way of defining."

Below is a transcript of the conversation.

I.

Young-Jin Hur (YH): Welcome, Esther. It’s great to have you as a guest. How are you today?

Esther Yoo (EY): Hello. I’m great. I've been pretty busy this week. 

YH: What have you been busy over?

EY: I’ve done some interviews. I’ve also done some writing - it’s one of my passions since I was very little. Specifically, I’ve been writing for music magazines and websites. I had a big piece that went out on Arts Desk recently. That article was translated into Korean and published in the Korean edition of the Strad this month, too. It was about COVID-19 and the mental health of musicians. I’ve also been busy keeping up with practice and learning new repertoire. 

YH: That’s fantastic. Do you usually write about music often? 

EY: Yes. I’ve written for BBC Music Magazine and the Strad, for example, in the past. During this COVID-19 period, there have been more requests for these written pieces, mainly because no musicians are performing. I'm definitely enjoying this opportunity. Through these writings, I can reflect upon my musical life and be creative about music in a different way.

YH: Can you expand upon this creative element in writing? Do you also write privately for yourself? 

EY: Well, when I write about music, I reflect a lot more and look at music from different perspectives. These are reflections I do not necessarily have when I am purely focused on performing. So, there are plenty of creative elements when I write about my profession. On the personal side, I do write for myself. I write diaries, poems, and some short stories.

YH: About your big piece about mental health for Arts Desk... how did this come about?

EY: In the past, when I wrote pieces for the Gramophone and the Strad, for example, they gave me specific topics to write about. These topics concerned music, the violin, and practice-based themes. So in these cases, I knew exactly what was expected of me - the writing was pretty straightforward. For the recent Arts Desk article, I was approached with a suggestion that I write a long, reflective piece. They told me I was free to write about anything I wanted to, as long as I write something related to the current COVID-19 situation and music. In the beginning, I actually struggled to come up with a topic. But soon, I had so many ideas. In the end, I chose a topic that I consider to be close to me and what I think impacts myself and many musicians around me. So that’s how I came about this topic of mental health in classical music. Even before COVID-19, mental health, especially mental health awareness and well-being of artists, was something I paid a lot of attention to. Once I decided to write about this topic for Arts Desk, the article was actually quite easy to write because this is a topic I feel so strongly about. 

YH: I am glad that thing turned out smoothly. I feel when one finds a topic that one can really relate to, things happen without much force or effort.

EY: Yes.

YH: During COVID-19, were you also able to develop yourself musically?

EY: I think so, although I feel I haven't quite realised the exact extent of the gains. I will notice the changes more once we are over this situation and when I return to my normal performing schedule. There is something about having more time for oneself, though. I strongly believe many musicians these days often find themselves lacking in time to reflect, to mentally prepare, and to experiment. So in some sense, the COVID-19 crisis may have introduced something new to musicians by enabling us to have more time about many things. I think artists of previous generations didn't have the global access that we have today where everything lives at our fingertips. Travelling was also not easy back then. Even if they were travelling, it was nowhere near as much as what artists are currently accustomed to. This makes me think that musicians in the past had more time. These past musicians must have had a very different approach to music-making and cultural life in general. There was more time for personal reflection back then. Of course, there are amazing benefits for living in a fast-paced world nowadays. You can reach audiences everywhere. But then there is also this aspect of personal time and freedom getting a bit lost. So realising the value of time is something that I've enjoyed through these difficult times. So if I have to take a positive out of the COVID-19 situation, this is it. And this experience may feed into my development as a musician.

[Note. In my previous interview with Vasily Petrenko, we talked about the impact of COVID-19 on musicians and classical music.]

YH: I am glad you see the positives. It is important to try to find the small beauties in life. One must look carefully because they are definitely out there no matter what the situation is.

You talked about musicians from the previous generations having more time for themselves, possibly having more opportunities for reflection and experimentation. Presuming that this is what happened to you over the past few months as well, can you share something more about these activities?

EY: There was definitely a lot of reflection. There's no longer this panic to rush and prepare for a concert or learn a piece with a deadline. Even the process of learning new repertoire has a greater element of discovery. One could say that music has become a personal engagement because you are doing something purely for yourself. This means that the purpose of my activities is different from that of my normal schedule. Therefore, the process involved in music-making is also different. There are a lot of subtleties and they're not always easy to explain.

(both laugh)

YH: I understand. It's not easy to verbalise everything. Besides, I sometimes wonder if the essence of things become lost somewhere when trying to put everything into words. I won't pry further! 

(both laugh)

II.

YH: Generally speaking, you seem fascinated by many things outside of music. For example, you have your own Youtube channel. I could also see on your website that you enjoy cooking, reading, and watching films. Could you tell me more about this side of your life?

EY: I think I've always had a lot of different interests and curiosities from a young age. I've always wanted to experience a little bit of everything. I think many of these things are interrelated with each other. There are things to learn from all these interests - they eventually feed into whatever else I am doing, especially into my music-making. 

Sometimes, these varying interests come together as concrete projects. For example, I did this film music project about two years ago for a film called On Chesil Beach. That was really exciting because the project combined music and film, and the film was based on a novel. So that project combined three artforms. It was a hugely fulfilling project. I worked so hard on that project, probably more than anything else I have done (EY laughs). The workload was massive. It involved a tremendously wide range of people working as a team. It was much more than the aspect of recording music. The director was involved. The composer for the music was there in the studio constantly editing the music to match the film. So there was also film-making work involved. Everything was incredibly complex but was fulfilling. 

YH: I can definitively feel your excitement. In such a multi-faceted project, how much time do you devote yourself to the non-musical aspects? For example, did you read the original novel that the film is based on?

EY: Oh, yes (EY laughs). I was very, very much involved. It's a bit of a long story. Basically, the project started in a huge rush, where I had less than a week's notice to prepare the repertoire and record it in Abbey Road Studios. I was in New York when I received the initial offer email - I had just finished my Lincoln Center recital debut. I was supposed to stay in New York for a while after that recital. In any case, the email said that there is this film project where the lead character is a violinist, meaning that there will be a lot of violin music in the score. Initially, they told me that there are three pieces I could record. It was an original score, and it was something that I could do and wanted to do. So I agreed to do this project. That same day, I went out to get the book that the film was based on. I read the book on the flight to Europe. Once my plane landed, I got an email asking if I could record a couple of more pieces. I agreed to this. The number of pieces I had to prepare increased on a daily basis (EY laughs). Evidently, the music wasn't finished. Dan Jones, the composer, was still working on the music. By the time I got to the studio, there were 24 new pieces of music. 

YH: Wow.

(both laugh)

EY: Basically, for an entire week, I didn't sleep or eat. I didn't do anything else apart from being part of this project. Regarding the film, I had asked those involved to send me the soundtrack-less version of the film so I could watch it before going into the studio. So they sent me this draft version of the film. That was very helpful because I understood, for example, where the music was to be placed and the music's emotional context in terms of the film's storyline. I couldn't imagine going into the studio and recording the music without knowing its cinematic background. To know the film was very important. Also, in Abbey Road Studios, as I was recording, they would have scenes of the film playing in the background. This was done because they needed to sync the score to the scene. It was an interesting process. It was a lot of work, at the same time.

YH: You said that Dan Jones was composing the music as the project went along. Since he knew you were going to record this music, could one also say that he was writing these pieces with you in mind?

EY: In some ways, he did. I heard that I was initially invited to take part in this project because Dan Jones had heard me somewhere. He wanted me, specifically, to be the voice of the violin for this film. So Dan and I got pretty close. Overall, it was an incredibly creative and collaborative process. It wasn't just about recording a completed score. If we saw that things weren't working or weren't really hitting the right emotional notes, we would discuss what we can do together to improve the situation. This would give us the platform to experiment. It wasn't just me and Dan; Dominic Cooke, the director, also joined these discussions. Some rearrangements were made to see if these changes support the film's meanings better.

YH: If Dan Jones composed his music with you in mind in some ways, could you say that the music may possibly reflect who you are as a person? I know I am stretching things a bit here, but I thought I'd like to ask anyway.

EY: The music obviously most reflects the film's main character. But I think there are elements in the score that perhaps highlights specific aspects of my playing. 

III.

YH: Actually, what pieces of music does reflect Esther Yoo?

(both laugh)

EY: I think I'm still in the process of figuring that out.

(both laugh)

EY: I sense my relationship with music is more like a journey than a way of defining. I don't want to limit myself and put myself in a box. Like I said before, I am someone with a wide range of interests and curiosities - I think this also reflects my musical voice and passions. I'm always interested in discovering new repertoire, composers, and styles. I am always in the search for something different.

YH: There still must be composers that you always somehow return to.

EY: For me, Shostakovich is a composer that I've always considered to be close to my heart. I adore his symphonies, especially his violin concerto. The first few times I listened to this concerto, I listened to it repeatedly without ever getting tired of it (EY laughs).

YH: Which of the two violin concertos are you referring to, if I may ask?

EY: The first one. So when I finally got to learn the concerto, it was the most amazing feeling. The thing about Shostakovich's music that I find most amazing is what he does with silence. How he times the silences and spreads them out throughout a piece is incredible. Those silences suddenly acquire great meaning. There is also this sense of darkness that is unique to Shostakovich. Whatever he writes, he always has character.

YH: I totally agree. There can be sections that are aggressive. Then all of a sudden, you enter this silence-filled void. Shostakovich is so natural with these contrasts. It's also interesting to note that when I interviewed Maxim Vengerov a few months ago, he also spoke so passionately about this violin concerto. 

EY: I'm sure you know that I'm part of Z.E.N. Trio. We have a new album coming out at the end of the summer. We recorded the second piano trio by Shostakovich as one of the two pieces on that album. Touring with that repertoire was quite a big thing (EY laughs).

YH: It's a harrowing piece. Is this the piece that Shostakovich dedicated to a friend who had just died? 

EY: Yes.

YH: I look forward to listening to this recording.  

IV.

YH: If I am not mistaken, you've spent the majority of your life in North America and Europe. Since the COVID-19 outbreak, you're in Korea. Living in Korea for such a long period must be an odd experience for you. 

EY: Yes and no. Because I have family and relatives based in Korea, I've always visited Korea frequently since I was very, very young. So Korea is not foreign to me as a culture. I also speak the language fluently and comfortably. This means that I have no major difficulties living in Korea. But then again, just visiting and living are very different.

YH: Exactly.

EY: I've always hoped that I will someday experience living in Korea and immerse myself in the life and culture of Korea. But I never expected that this opportunity would come so suddenly and soon (EY laughs). I feel I've gotten myself into this situation involuntarily.

(both laugh)

EY: You know, I didn't have time to properly pack when I left Europe to come to Korea. I just left home with one suitcase at the beginning of March, thinking I will be back in a couple of weeks. But I find myself still in Korea. I've been in Seoul since early April. Although all this was never planned, it's been interesting living here. Also, every time I've visited Korea before COVID-19, I've been usually busy with my work schedules or with some family event - I rarely had the time to explore Korea. However, this time, that is not the case. All this is very new to me. One way or another, I'm experiencing a lot of new things this year in Korea. 

YH: These are odd times. It could also be that because you're not entirely occupied with work schedules, I am able to interview you. So although I may sound awfully egotistical by saying so, this situation is a blessing in disguise. Anyway...

(both laugh)

YH: ... I wonder if you could share anything specific you learned about Korea whilst living there? There is a personal motivation behind this question - while I identify myself as a Korean, I've never lived in Korea as an adult. Therefore, I'm hoping you can answer some of my own curiosities (YH laughs).

EY: I think I understand the culture here better. Also, just being here for an extended period of time really helps my language skills... not so much in terms of speaking, but in terms of reading and writing. Not having lived in Korea and not having gone to Korean schools, I didn't have many opportunities to read and write in Korean. These were aspects I wished to improve. Now, I can type faster in Korean...

(both laugh)

EY: ... and read a little bit faster, too. So I'm happy about these improvements. 

YH: In the context of you being multilingual and you being generally interested in being creative with words, do you think there are specific sentiments unique to each language? 

EY: For sure - there are different sentiments for each language. There are certain emotions that are conveyed in, say, English, French, German, or Korean, that cannot be translated into another language no matter how hard you try. That's also the beauty of language. Culture is part of each language's identity. There are emotional and cultural subtexts that I would say go along closely with certain word choices specific to each language.

V.

YH: I would like to move on to the final set of questions. Looking at your career, you've enjoyed early success. You had your first public concert at the age of eight, for instance. Since then, everything seems to be going well for you.

EY: Well, not everything.

(both laugh)

YH: There must come a point when you can no longer be called a so-called "rising star" anymore. Do you think about this issue often? If this question is too personal, I am happy to skip it.

EY: I try not to think too much about this transition. It is something that crosses my mind because these are labels that people put on you. It's a way to present someone of a certain age or of a certain time in their career. As you said, you can start off as a "rising star", then get established as an "artist" or whatever categories there may be. There's also this term "child prodigy" that people love to use (EY laughs). I've never particularly enjoyed being addressed under these labels because I don't want to be put myself in a box. And I think the development of a musician is a very personal experience, where everyone grows in different stages and at different speeds. So I don't really see the value in using these names and levels.

[Note. In my previous interview with Denis Matsuev, we talked about the different ways a musician can develop.]

YH: These labels seem inevitable. I think what is most important is to be oneself and to judge oneself by one's own standards. As you said, everyone is unique.

EY: You have to keep trying to develop yourself and ask, "what can I do better?", "how do I continue growing?", and "what can I learn?". I think these are more important questions to ask than to be curious about one's labels.

YH: I agree. What are some of your future plans, both musically and non-musically?

EY: Musically speaking, I hope to be able to play some concerts. I've never said this before.

(both laugh)

EY: It's very difficult nowadays to plan things because many things that were planned have been postponed. Everything is shifting, some of them, last minute. It's all cascading. People say it'll be just this year but things afterwards get affected by this year, too. We'll need to see how everything will work out.

Also, as I said earlier, Z.E.N. Trio will release a second album soon. That's something I'm really looking forward to. Luckily, we've already finished recording at the end of last year. So the major work for the release is already done and we're in the process of packaging the album. We'll try to tour this fall.

I'm also planning to record my next concerto album next year. Hopefully, that project will still go as planned. I'll also learn some new repertoire - I am currently learning some Brahms pieces. I'm going back to my Beethoven concerto, which I'm excited about. I haven't played this concerto for a few years. I'm approaching the piece with a very different vision and view. Musically, these are major projects, and I look forward to playing these monumental pieces. So there are a lot of projects coming up.

[Note. In my previous interview with Maxim Vengerov, we talked about the gains related to taking long breaks from performing certain main repertoire pieces.]

EY: I would also like to share things about music in other ways. I hope I can continue with my writing. Also, I'm in the process of increasing the number of master classes I am giving - I really enjoy working with young musicians. I personally feel like I learn a lot through teaching.

YH: This is all wonderful. As you said, not everything can be planned, especially in the present climate. But I am certain that if you continue being who you are, you'll be inspired, from which many good things will emerge. On this note, I'd like to conclude our interview. Thank you very much.

EY: Thank you.

Esther Yoo, © Marco Borggreve

Young-Jin Hur

@yjhur1885

© Where Cherries Ripen / Young-Jin Hur